Surround yourself with people that fuel you to do more.
Surround yourself with people who always help you get out of stagnancy.
Surround yourself with people who would always see the good in even seemingly difficult situations.
Hollywood, Bollywood, and Nollywood, the time has come for you to drop this cliche. There are a thousand and one other ways to fall in love. Feel free to go with any other.
My search for a husband has not yielded much result in church. Maybe it is time for me to get professional about it. I need to expand my search to the office.
And that is exactly what I did.
Now imagine your lover doesn’t share your sense of humor. Each time you laugh, they ask, “what’s funny?”
No matter how you explain, they just don’t get it. And whenever you share something you find funny with them, they’ll reply, “and so?” “I don’t get it.”
How come people only say everything happens for a reason when something bad, dare I say, devastating, has happened?
Why is that not their response to a piece of good news? Or don’t good things also happen for a reason?
Can you tell the difference between all three?
Does it even matter which is which? As long as you can get off the floor and take to the skies, does it matter if you are flying, gliding, or soaring?
Firstly, do you know the difference between a tooth and teeth? Do you know how teachers will insist you use the right one each time you were referring to them?
Once again, in my magnanimous nature, I have done the heavy lifting by researching on how to fix the global Mona Lisa problem.
I hope when this is actualized, the Nobel Committee would be happy to award me the Nobel Peace Prize for my invaluable contribution to humanity.
What do you mean?
After saying Hello, shouldn’t your name be the next thing you say?
You are right about that. Maybe your beauty just stole the words out of my mouth.
Your best bet is to keep quiet and listen to the half gist from wherever you joined. If the opportunity to join in presents itself, feel free to join in.
But do that at your own discretion. Believe me, you don’t want them to wrap up the half gist and make you a full gist.
With hindsight, Nigerians would have been grateful for a sidegrade on Jonathan. By 2024, they would curse the president if he turns out as a sidegrade on Buhari.
Meanwhile, those who got paid to promulgate this propaganda are either in government, too rich to care, out of the country and away from this mess, complaining louder than everyone else, or dying in silence because of pride.
Honestly, I am still not sure if blessing time is what I’m hearing.
If “blessing time” is the response to “offering time”, then how can “blessing time” also be the response to “testimony time”?
I still fondly remember the first time you said you love me. It was like time stood still.
I could hear a butterfly land on a flower’s petal a thousand miles away. The blue color of the sky looked freshly painted, to a point of exaggeration. If a pin dropped at the other end of the earth at that point, I would have heard it.
If the immediate thousand people around you all claim something is wrong with you, then it is best you take a second look at yourself.
You might not be getting persecuted, you are just suffering the consequences of your inconsiderate actions.
When I got back to the house, my two gossiping neighbors were nowhere to be seen. So also was whatever little respect I had for them.
This is not over. Instead, the battle line has just been drawn. I don’t know how I would get one over them, but I know I must get my pound of flesh.
On second thought, maybe professional dancers are already tired and want to keep the dancing to a minimum on their special day.
Maybe their pastors and parents warn them to get through the ceremony without excessive dancing. Or just maybe they are so love-struck, that they forget how to dance.
The next people on my manual scan were the protocol team. Look at them in their smart suits. How can your biceps and six-packs be poking your suit?
It is less that they have the biggest muscles around, and more like they bought suits a couple of sizes too small.
It takes a lot of guts or foolhardiness to try and push the boundaries with maximum scammable amount. But if you pull it off, it is worth the effort.
At the same time, if it ever sounds too good to be true, it is probably not true.
When I hear you say, “it’s nothing personal, only business”, is that supposed to serve as an apology? Am I meant to be happy that your business requires me to be hurt?
Next time you are tempted to utter those words, just say “I am sorry” instead.
With intellectual entertainers though, you might have to stop between your laughter to rethink what you just heard.
It might be on your way home, or even two days later that you remember a line, and it changes your life forever.
With romcom, my head and heart is not stressed like that. The most I have to worry about is will they, won’t they?
I also do not need to think about complicated storylines. And I don’t need to watch my back for creeping shadows while at it.
There must be an alternate universe where you and I end up together. But in this universe, how can I end up with this your friend I have come to like?
I have lost count of the number of times I have heard people talk about how they will do things the same way all over again if they had a chance to relive it.
My next question is always “why?”
What you are about to do will make you happy, but at what cost to others?
To love your neighbor as yourself, you must first be considerate. How is my action affecting them? If I were on the receiving end, how would I feel?
By the evening of Sunday, I knew I had no choice but to call Rukevwe. Every bone in me assured me that if this weekend passed without me calling her, I would have blown my chances.
However the dice fall, at least, I would have given it my best shot.
It is so noisy that whenever there is a semblance of quietness, Lagosians get worried. Quietness in Lagos can only mean one thing; trouble.
Teenagers of every generation will always find and create their vices. Hopefully, they don’t cross over into areas of illegality.
Adults taking advantage of their naivety, inquisitiveness, and power imbalance meanwhile will always be morally and legally wrong.
Creator’s remorse is a feeling of regret or sadness a creator feels towards their work.
It could be experienced while still creating it, immediately after completion, shortly after being done, or long after they are done with the work.
All that came to my mind at that point was that Aproko Doctor would be very proud of this baby. He has been advising everyone to drink water. Especially after they wake up. And here is my baby girl doing exactly that.
More importantly, even while you laugh at me, I can relax in the knowledge that those learning wheels are there to ensure I don’t topple over.
(He that laughs without a broken arm, laughs best.)