Knowing Happiness: TO THE ALTAR
My name is Happiness, and I am on a journey to the Altar. I forgot to mention, I am single and searching.
I am not searching for a boyfriend. Instead, I am actually looking for “the one who” will ask my hand in marriage and take me to the altar. Were you expecting me to journey to the altar alone?
I was brought up on the belief that after facing my studies, getting out of school, and finding myself a good job, I will just up and meet a “Tall, Dark and Handsome” young man who will think the world of me and stop at nothing to “woo” me. The way those guys do in the novels I read growing up. I will eventually “agree” to marry him and we will have the “Wedding of the Century”. On a scale that will put the British Royals to shame.
I am the last born and only girl with two elder brothers. I am nicknamed “Pension Baby” because of the circumstances around my birth.
My eldest brother was getting out of the university while my immediate elder brother was just getting in when my mom found out she was pregnant with me. Mummy had just turned Forty-Five years old while Daddy was Fifty-One years Old. It was a surprise that left my parents wondering what must have gone wrong with their “family planning”.
I was born on the 31st of December 1995. The happiness that greeted my birth must have left my parents so lazy that they ended up christening me Happiness.
I grew up under the hawk-eye level gaze of four adults. Add to that every family and friend in the neighborhood, who thought it their duty to ensure this precious daughter of their friends grew up right. I am that girl that it took a village to raise.
My parents ensured I never strayed from the Christian way, just as I was raised to be adept at housekeeping. I did every chore there was to be done. I was also trusted with taking care of the “very empty” house whenever my parents were out.
The first time I had my period, I also had the most awkward, one-sided conversation of my life with my mum. She told me “everything wrong” with pre-marital sex. She advised me on how I was to avoid guys whose only hormone-fueled interest was getting between my legs.
According to my mum, if I did engage in sex before marriage, I would get pregnant. Peradventure, I try to abort it, I will either end up with a damaged womb or even dead.
According to her, if I choose not to abort it, I will be dropping out of school to care for the child as she wasn’t going to start carrying another baby on her back without collecting the bride price first. And if the guy I am pregnant for even agrees to care for me and the child, he won’t even have the money to cater for us.
She just stopped short of telling me that if I let a boy touch my hands, I’ll get pregnant. And if I get pregnant, death could be the easiest way out for me.
You can be sure that my naivety got the best of me. I was practically running away from any and every guy that dared to get close to me. The word “boyfriend” was non-existent in my dictionary and my mum and other relative’s “helicopter-parenting” ensured I didn’t “carry belle”.
When I did got into the university, my daily activities were limited to four places. Hostel, class, library, and church. I never partook in any extra-curricular or social activity, as that wasn’t going to boost my GPA.
At this point, I was a bit “wiser” about relationships but was too busy chasing that first-class honors.
Getting a job as a programmer after school kick-started my professional life as it was my first working experience in life.
I’m just twenty-six years old, and everything on my dream-board is on cue. I am currently studying for my Master’s Degree while working at an ICT firm. I live in Lagos, the greatest city on the continent. Because I still live with my parents so my bills are minimal, my bank account is smiling and I am making some extra investments to ensure I can travel the world when I eventually choose to.
My only question is this, isn’t this the point at which my “knight in shining armor” is supposed to come and sweep me off my feet as we ride off into the sunset? Or isn’t that part of this Happiness story?
Wilson Joshua is a Video Editor, Content Creator, and Creative Writer.
Follow him on Twitter and Instagram. @IJoswil
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