PSA: For “Snatchers” Only
This is a public service announcement from the Ministry of Internal-Internal Affairs.
Please note, due to the arbitrary snatching activities of some unscrupulous people, the federal government has found it fit to intervene and regulate the extra-curricular activities of its dearly beloved citizenry.
Firstly, no one is allowed to snatch the lawfully wedded spouse of another. You are only allowed to snatch boyfriends and girlfriends.
If you intend to engage in extramarital affairs with an already married adults, you need to collect a form at the Ministry of Internal Internal Affairs office in your state headquarters.
On this form, you will express if you are doing it for hobbyist and financial purpose, and any profit made out of it is taxable up to 25%. (Depending on the amount).
The victim’s spouse is also to authorize the form, granting her an equal amount of money you earn from their spouse, separate from whatever other financial commitment/benefits they already get. This is non-taxable.
Secondly, you are only allowed three snatches over the course of five years. If you admire someone in a relationship, and you really want them for yourself, go and wait until they are out of it. If you intervene, then it is snatching. And if you want to do more than three of that in five years, then you have to come get the senior snatchers form, where you are expected to indicate if you are a professional or hobbyist.
All proceeds from this relationship are also taxable, to the tune of 23%, but the permission of your intended victim isn’t required.
Thirdly, if you snatched a person, then that person can be freely snatched from you, without it counting against the snatchers allocated three snatches. But it will count against the snatched persons allocated partners.
Fourthly, you are only allowed six partners in a five year period. This will prevent abuse and willing submission to snatching and reverse prostitution or hoeing.
It will also ensure you value each relationship a little more, you don’t jump into rebound relationship and you heal properly from hurts of relationship.
If you use up your six partners before the earmarked period, there is no remedy. You will stay single until that five year is complete. No exemptions. Love or true love isn’t recognized as an excuse. If they are willing to wait for your waiting period to be complete, congratulations to you. If not; your bad.
You are also not allowed to carry out any loneliness or horniness induced frustration on anyone. This can result in a 6 weeks of jail time. In solitary confinement.