I have always looked forward to waking my wife up to breakfast in bed. As a good cook, scratch that, great cook, of professional proficiency, it is only logical that it is going to be one of my go-to romantic moves.
From what I have seen in movies, breakfast in bed seems to be a favorite for ladies.

In my many conversations with my female friends, that view has been reinforced. Many of them look forward to being on the receiving end of a breakfast-in-bed experience from their future husbands.
As a matter of fact, I am yet to meet a lady who opposes the idea.

Since I don’t like to “poke nose/tojubole” into people’s houses, I can’t confidently give a statistic for wives who have been enjoying this gesture.
Except for one. My friend, The Yeye Oge herself, the wife we went to “dobale” to marry, I can confirm that she has been happily enjoying breakfast in bed.

Her husband with whom I went to “dobale” doesn’t do it every day, but he does it often enough to be applauded.
As for the rest of my married friends, please share your testimony with us.

Let us know how sweet marriage is. Let us know whose husband should be wearing a “kiss the chef” apron, and whose husband should never be left alone in the kitchen.
Tell us how your husband served you “burnt offering”, and the one who almost burned down the house.

We need to know if we should avoid visiting your house whenever you travel, so as to avoid food poisoning.
Let us know if the best food your husband can cook is boiled egg. And if that is with maximum supervision.

Please, if you know breakfast in bed is something you look forward to, ask your husband if he can cook before you marry him.
Maybe you should even taste his food. It’s not only guys that need to know about your kitchen skills.

You need to be sure that the one day you can’t cook, you won’t both die of hunger.
And as much as there are now caterers everywhere, that would be the one day they are celebrating their association anniversary.
As he is assessing your home-making skill, ensure he is not a home littering king.

With all I have said, you can be sure that I am always happy to cook at home. This delicacy creative expression should not go to waste.
There is just one caveat though. “La Babe” should not be expecting breakfast in bed from me.

I know this might sound hypocritical, but I’m doing this out of love.
Yesterday, I got into a discussion with a friend and this subject came up. It was in the process of conversing that I stumbled on a life-changing realization.

If I make you breakfast in bed, and a grain, or spoon of food spills on the sheets, who is responsible for washing it?
Yes, there is a washing machine. But have you tried washing a bedspread in a washing machine?

Truly, there is bleach, but how easy is it to apply bleach on those large sheets?
Isn’t it easier to wake you up and direct you to the table where the meal has been laid out for you?

As much as I love you, I am not in a hurry to wash oil stains out of the bedsheet every time I try to be romantic.
I know I’ll see the food drop from the spoon to the bed in slow motion. And I know whatever joy I derived from watching you eat my delicious meal will disappear with the first spot of oil stain I see.

Why don’t we just prevent this torture by going to eat elsewhere?
I am not saying I won’t cook, I’m only trying to avoid temptations by getting you to eat on a surface that won’t leave me with my heart in my mouth.

Plus, you have not brushed your teeth. Who eats without brushing their teeth? Imagine the germs and bacteria going down with the food.
Later you will be complaining to me about stomach aches. I will still be the one to run around looking for drugs and telling you sorry.

If you step out to brush your teeth, you might as well go eat in the sitting room.
Or am I to bring your toothbrush and toothpaste with a bucket along with the breakfast in bed?

Long story short, expect the best meals of your life from me. I’m romantic like that.
But guess what kills romance? Morning breath and dirty sheets.
Say no to breakfast in bed. Eat where we can get lost in each other’s eyes without wondering who will be washing these sheets.

Wilson Joshua is a Video Editor, Content Creator, and Creative Writer.
You can follow him on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. @IJOSWIL