This has gone beyond engaging in self-destructive behavior. You are now in the territory of shooting yourself in the foot and sticking the bloody foot in your mouth.
You are burning bridges and taking others as collateral damages in the process.
With all I hold dear, I love you. For all I hold dear, I’m sorry, I just can’t save you. Why do you make this so hard? Why have you made it impossible to save you?
The song Save Myself by Ed Sheeran describes the unhealthy situation, relationship and “situation ship” a lot of us find ourselves in.