PSA: Imo State Statues Union

We the general assembly of the Imo State Statues Union, having heard all of your disparaging remarks about us have finally decided to put out our rejoinder.
Firstly, even we cannot believe how much they said we cost. We did not give out the contract to construct us, neither were we the executioners of the contract.
We are mere creations who had no say in their creation process. Stop beefing us as if the money for the contract to construct us is inside us or was spent by us.
Secondly, why will you just place us out here in the open, with no protection from the elements? When the rain falls, it beats us, when the sun shines, it bakes us. Considering that we have to be here 24/7, it will be nice if you can build a shed over us, or at least, come give us an umbrella each. A cardigan to see us through this rainy season and the forthcoming harmattan wouldn’t be a bad idea too.
Actually, if you can arrange for hot tea too, we will really appreciate that.
Thirdly, having left our families and friends to come and stand here all day, it does get lonely here. Please, if we can get fine girls and buff guys to come keep us company occasionally, we will appreciate. We promise to always be on our best behavior.

Fourthly. Good people of Imo State, we might be Statues, but that doesn’t mean you should come around and just do “stuffs” to us or in front of us. If we begin to tell you what we have witnessed in our short lifespan here so far, your ears will bleed.
The way guys and girls come into our midst to “do the do”, it’s a wonder that one of us haven’t ended up pregnant.
Finally and most importantly, we are neither gods nor idols. We are mere statues. None living things for that matter.
Please, stop dropping foods and sacrifices in front of us. We can’t eat nor accept it. Rather, feed the hungry amongst you, care for the needy. Keep praying. Then God will answer your prayers.
We are eventually meant for demolition or burns. Don’t make our fate any worse.
Good people of Imo State, as Rochas is leaving, please help us tell your next Governor to look into the Statues right bill. We want our rights to be protected by law and won’t want the next Governor to abandon or demolish us.
Just as you deserve to live as humans, so also we deserve to live as statues.

Wilson Joshua is a Video Editor, Content Creator and Creative Writer.
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