No. You Are Not In Love – Josh Journal
A common feature among many relationships I have seen is the place of timing, proximity, and convenience.
Dare I say, a lot of people are not necessarily “in love” with the person they are in a relationship with.
When I talk about timing, proximity, and convenience, I’m talking about how people are often too lazy or scared to “pursue” a relationship with the person they actually fell in love with.
The kind of love that leaves you shaken. That leaves you speechless, excited, scared, restless, cold, and hot all at the same time.
Instead, they go for the lady who is close by and is less likely to say no. Or they say yes to a guy simply because he asked them out. While the guy they actually want didn’t ask them out.
For many of us, once we get into the relationship headspace, we end up asking out the next person we meet.
Alternatively, you have your eyes on someone, you find out they are unavailable, so you go with the next person.
All of that is timing. If the person you wanted were available then, you probably will be in a different relationship now. If they showed up right now, saying that they are available, there is a good chance you will break up with or cheat on your current partner.
In terms of proximity, we often “fall” for someone, simply because we spend a significant amount of time together. Either physically or virtually.
The more of someone you see or hear, the more you will come to love or hate them. Most times it ends with love.
If you meet someone new and you get a feeling that you like them, as soon as you find out they stay far away, your feelings start to get bottled up.
The era of social media and easy communication is easing that a lot. Yet, no one is in a hurry to be the next “Berger to Ajah” victim.
Convenience is a little similar to familiarity, but there is a little extra. I have heard lots of beautiful ladies and handsome guys complain about how difficult it is to get into a stable relationship. Same with famous and wealthy folks.
Most people will choose not to pursue a love interest because they assume the person will have a lot of admirers. They think the rich one will have attitude problems, yet they aspire to wealth. To them, the powerful one will abuse their power, yet they work towards power and authority.
How many people have you refused to approach or turn down just because you believe the stress involved will be too much?
I have not even brooched the reluctance of Nigerian ladies to approach or woo guys. After you say two sentences, the next thing you will hear them say is “let me be going before your girlfriend break my head.”
I pray you get to experience groundbreaking, life-changing, empowering, emboldening love. The kind of love that makes the day brighter and colors pop extra. That makes you understand the lyrics to your favorite songs.
The kind of love that leaves you smiling sheepishly and you are not afraid to get caught in the act.
One dose of that love, and you will never settle for less again.