Nigerians like to use the phrase “Chopping Money” but no one ever meant it in the literal sense of the word. Until now.

All hail Mrs. Philomena Chieshe, a staff of JAMB in Benue State who has taken “spiritual literalism” to another level, by blaming missing cash amounting to 36 Million Naira on a mischievous, cash-hungry, greedy snakes, who are hell-bent on making her a candidate for the EFCC cells.

Recently, Nigeria has witnessed a new level of ridiculousness in terms of startling and dumbfounding revelation of the amount of money spirited away from public coffers. No one ever thought it wise to blame it on the spirit world, animals like snake, or even the devil. But this incident is about to change all that.
I remember how it was said that rats use to eat millions of Pablo Escobar’s money annually. Apparently there was evidences to prove it. I wonder if Pablo would have any money left if a Nigerian snake had found its way into his cash store.
At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Old Snake, Satan is surprised at the ease and confidence by which Nigerians commit ridiculous and callous crimes, and the enormity of it too.
First, we had to fight rats out of Mr. President’s office, now we’ll have to start chasing snakes out of our vaults, where will we be in a year’s time? Negotiating refund with pigs? Granting amnesty to cows? Can’t we just put up Nigeria for sale already?

Wilson Joshua is a Video Editor, Content Creator and Creative Writer.
Follow him on Twitter and Instagram. @IJoswil