Bros Before Besties (Deputy Girlfriend)

Yes, I know the normal phrase is Bros before Hoes, but there’s no way I am going to describe Tomi as such.
Now how do I describe Dan? Daniel is someone I have known all my life. We were inseparable as kids and he knew Tomi through me.
When they first hit it off, I had mixed feelings about it. I was happy two of my friends were dating, but I was scared of what will happen if they broke up. Will I have to pick sides? Or will they end up as mortal enemies?
Their breaking up was inevitable. He had spent all of our senior secondary school days trying to get her to date him, but she was into someone else at the time.
He meanwhile would only come back to ask her to date him after dumping or being dumped by a girl. I must admit that the turnover rate of girlfriends where Dan is concerned is actually on the high side. Not that he was a womanizer, just that he didn’t know any better. Whereas Tomi was in only one relationship through senior secondary school.
By the time they dated after secondary school, their perspective on life was way too different. What they shared in common was almost nonexistent, compared to their differences.
To the best of my understanding, neither of them cheated on the other, but the amount of quarrels between them was way too much. The good times were actually there, and were indeed very good. But they were few and far between.
Before their relationship, I believed any two people could date, as long as they were willing to make it work. In the case of Tomi and Dan, they both wanted it to work, but they were just too strong-headed, uncompromising and each of them knew too much for their own good.
Just before they eventually broke up, I became their full-time referee. Hardly will seventy two hours go by before I am settling another quarrel. At a point, I began avoiding the both of them.
When one of them calls me to complain, before the second person calls, I’ll put my phone on airplane mode. If either of them ask if I was home, I will always be somewhere else or on my way somewhere.
When eventually they broke up, I was unhappy for them, but I was happy for myself. My Bro and my Bestie had finally given me breathing space.
After this experience, I decided to never ever, ever introduce any two friends of mine to each other, nor encourage any two friends to date. No matter how “cute” they look together. 

Wilson Joshua is a Video Editor, Content Creator and Creative Writer.
Follow him on Twitter and Instagram. @IJoswil